Sober Living House Rules: Curfews, Testing, Guests, and What Happens After a Relapse

House rules are the reason sober living works. They are also the thing people most often underestimate before moving in. Rules vary from home to home, but nearly every quality house shares the same core set. Knowing what to expect, and what to ask about, makes the difference between a good match and a short stay.

The rules almost every home has

Complete abstinence from drugs and alcohol is the baseline, and most homes enforce it with regular, often random, drug and alcohol testing. Curfews are standard, typically earlier for new residents and relaxed as trust is earned. Chores are assigned and checked. Residents are expected to work, attend school, volunteer, or be actively looking for work. Most homes require attendance at recovery meetings, usually a set number per week, and many hold a mandatory house meeting as well.

Rules that differ by home

This is where a phone call matters. Overnight passes may be earned after a probation period or not allowed at all. Guest policies range from no visitors inside the house to daytime visits in common areas. Some homes prohibit relationships between residents. Phone and vehicle policies vary, especially for younger residents. Medication rules differ widely: some homes lock and dispense all medications, some prohibit certain prescriptions entirely, and some accommodate medication-assisted treatment while others do not. If you take any prescribed medication, ask before you commit.

How relapse is handled

Ask this question directly, because the answers differ and the difference matters. Some homes discharge immediately on a positive test, with a short window to collect belongings. Others use a structured response: a conversation with the manager, a plan, and a second chance, with discharge on repeat. Neither approach is wrong, but you should know which one you are agreeing to, and how a discharge affects your deposit and any prepaid rent.

Why the structure matters

Rules protect the house, not just the individual. A home that enforces its rules consistently is safer for everyone in it. When you visit, notice whether the rules on paper match what you see: is the house clean, are residents where they are supposed to be, does the manager answer questions plainly. A house with clear rules and steady enforcement is usually a house worth living in.

Questions to ask about rules

What is the curfew, and does it change over time? How often is testing done, and who pays for it? What is the guest and overnight policy? How are medications handled? What is the minimum stay? What exactly happens after a relapse? Get the answers in writing where you can, and read the resident agreement before you sign it.